Emmett And The Mop
by HeelZiggler
Summary: Ok, so this takes place after breaking dawn. Emmett has a fear, and they all plan to get him. Read about it inside.
1. Mopaphobia

**Emmett & the mop.**

Ok so me,Jasper,Alice,Rosalie,Edward and Bella were sitting on the couch when suddenly Esme came into the room with a mop in her hand.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! MOP!!!!!!!!!!" So i ran away and hid behing the couch.

"Ehhhh..? Emmett? Are you ok? Whats so bad about a mop?" Rosalie asked

"Well, It all started when i was human.

_**.....*FLASHBACK* (MOP BACKROUND)......**_

In was 20 years old, and extremly gorgeous.

My mom had asked me to clean the house.

She left a mop leaning against the wall for me to use.

It was standing there looking all cool and casual but in its mind it was planning to get me.

One minute it was at the wall, the next it was on top of me.

That might have something to do with me getting off the chair and hitting into the wall, but maybe not.

It was planning to get me, i knew it without a dout!

"Go away you foul demon of a mop! Fear me! GRRRR!"

I didnt want to be near it so i got it and ran into the forest to dispose of it when suddenly a bear came over and started mauling me!

Then it stopped.

I was being carried somewhere by a beautiful, pale, blond-haired beauty.

Then it all went black.

*A WHILE LATER*

I woke up.

And the first thing i saw was a mop!

It had got to me!

It was after me and it succeded!

"AHHHH! A MOP!!!! MY WORST NIGHTMARE HAS COME THROUGH!!!"

"Thats my hair you idiot!" said the beautiful blond.

Beside her was a blond male, a redish brown haired male and a brown haired female.

"Am i in heaven?"

"No, you were being mauled by a bear. I saved you. But now your a vampire."

_!!!!!!! im a vampire!!! cool!_

"YAY!!! im a cool vampire!"

"Yes.....your a cool vampire. Im Rosalie, Now why do you hate mops so much?!" The beautiful girl named Rosalie asked.

"Hello Rosalie. MOP?! WHERE!? AHHH!"

"There is no mop here to attack you Emmett." said the blond male

_Gees! how old is that guy?! He doesnt look older than 22!_

"I am Carlisle." _So the blond male was Carlisle._

_"_This is Esme, my wife. And Edward, My "Son" " Carlisle introduced.

"Ok, So i dont like mops because they're out to get me. Theyre EVIL!" I accused!

"OK......So welcome to the family!"

_***END FLASHBACK* (MOP BACKGROUND DISSAPEARS)**_

"So thats why i dont like mops. I have mopaphobia"

They all started laughing.

"Ok....Thanks Emmett....Good to know...." Said Alice

They were up to something! I knew it


	2. The Plan

**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR THE CHARACTERS. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW. I WILL UPDATE SOON. THIS STORY WILL HAVE ALOT OF CHAPTERS.**

**The Plan.**

**APOV**

"Ok, We have to pull a prank on Emmett!"

Edward nodded.

"Ok, I have an idea. Tomorrow We all pretend to go hunting and we leave the house, all of us except for Rose and Renesmee. Then Renesmee spills something on the ground like . . . soda and then Rose will complain that she cant clean it up because her nails and hair will get wrecked. Then Rose gives Emmett a mop and we lock all the doors and he won't be able to get out. He will go into hysterics and we fill the living room with mops. Then when he runs in there he will think that an army of mops are after him. Then we all walk into the room and start getting mops and chase Emmett with them.

He will hyperventalate. It will be fun. Then We put the mops on the wall and make them look "cool and casual" It will be hylarious."

"Ok Alice, now we have to go and buy mops...." Edward Said looking devious.

*AT THE SHOP BUYING MOPS*

We walked over to the sales-person and i asked "Excuse me, Do you have 100 mops?"

He looked shocked and confused. "Em . . . Yes, they're over here." he showed us the way.

"May i ask why you need 100 mops?" he asked. "Well, Im Alice and these are my adopted brothers and sisters and we are pulling a prank on our other brother with them, he has mopaphobia." I smiled and the sales-man started laughing. "Mopaphobia?! hahahaha!"

"Ye i know! So come on guys! grab about 20 mops each!" I said

"Ok Alice this is gonna be great!" Jasper seconed

*AFTER THEY BOUGHT THE MOPS*

"Ok i cant wait for tomorrow!"

**Ok so i know this chapter was short but the others will be longer and better.**


	3. Mr Head Mop

THOUSELF DOES NOT OWN TWILIGHT. THAT IS DEAREST STEPHANIE MEYER. *SOB* :'(

Chapter 3

**EMPOV**

Ok, back to my point of view. Yay!

I was just coming back from hunting by myself. Yes! You heard correctly! By Myself!

I was very annoyed.

Anyway, I walked in the door and into the sitting room, there all over the room was about 20 mops! "AHHHHH!!!! MOPS! RUN!!!" I ran out of the room and up the stairs into mine & Rose's bedroom, And there was around another 20 mops! "AHHHH!! THE MOPS ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLD!" I have to think of a plan! I have to!

*5 MINUTES LATER*

Ok I have a plan, im going to disguise myself as a tree.

Mops don't like trees.

Or so ive heard. . .

Anyway, I have the perfect disguise!

It's a tree costume from last Halloween!

~*~*~

Ok, I have the tree costume on.

I look inconspicuous.

Now to act natural.

"MOOO!" _Emmett! That's a cow! _

"BAAAAA!" _Emmett That's a sheep!_

"THEN WHAT DO TREES SAY?!" _Oh, right, they say nothing! Stupid me!_

**APOV**

"OMAC! Guys this is gold!" I exclaimed. Trying to hide my laughter.

"Alice, You're a genius! This is going straight on Youtube!" Jasper was having a great time recording this.

"Ye, I didn't think this would be fun to do on my husband, but I was wrong!" _Rosalie, when will you learn that EVERYTHING I do is fun! Tsk tsk._

"Alice, Make the mop talk and say . . . "You look like a retarded tree. Sing I'm a Barbie Girl."" Edward asked happily. "Yes! That will be great! Do it Alice Please?!" Bella nearly shouted from enjoyment.

"Ok, here it goes."

**EMPOV**

"You look like a retarded tree. You must sing I'm a Barbie Girl. Do it now or feel my Wrath!" said a mysterious voice.

"AHH! THE MOP IS TALKING TO ME!"

"EM . . . OK.

_I'm A Barbie Girl In The Barbie World__  
__Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic__  
__You Can Brush My Hair, Undress Me Everywhere__  
__Imagination, Life Is Your Creation___

_Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party___

_I'm A Barbie Girl In The Barbie World__  
__Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic__  
__You Can Brush My Hair, Undress Me Everywhere__  
__Imagination, Life Is Your Creation___

_I'm A Blonde Single Girl In The Fantasy World__  
__Dress Me Up, Take Your Time, I'm Your Dollie__  
__You're My Doll, Rock And Roll, Feel The Glamour And Pain__  
__Kiss Me Here, Touch Me There, Hanky-Panky___

_You Can Touch, You Can Play__  
__You Can Say I'm Always Yours, Oooh Whoa___

_I'm A Barbie Girl In The Barbie World__  
__Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic__  
__You Can Brush My Hair, Undress Me Everywhere__  
__Imagination, Life Is Your Creation___

_Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Ha Ha Ha, Yeah__  
__Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Oooh, Oooh__  
__Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Ha Ha Ha, Yeah__  
__Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Oooh, Oooh___

_Make Me Walk, Make Me Talk, Do Whatever You Please__  
__I Can Act Like A Star, I Can Beg On My Knees__  
__Come Jump In, Be My Fri-_

"STOP! IVE HAD ENOUGH! YOU'RE A RETRDED TREE WITH NO VOCALS! IM NOT SCARED OF A TREE! MWAHAHAHAHAA! "

**APOV**

"Ok, maybe we should tell him that if he goes upstairs the mops will leave but will be back tomorrow?!" He must be traumatised.

"Ye and then we will record more tomorrow."

"Ok, Retarded tree, we will leave, but you have to go upstairs."

"Oh . . . Ok Mr. Head mop. . . Ill just go upstairs. . ." His face! OMAC! Priceless!

"Ok guys! He's gone! Clean up the mops!"

~*~*~*~

"Ok, the mops are gone."

"Emmett!" I shouted. "Are you upstairs?"

"Y-yes. . ." WOW! He's very upset.

"Ok, well were home from hunting. . ." I shouted

"No duh!" Jasper Said to me.

"God Alice Your So Stupid!"

So I started to cry. . . well cry tearlessly. . .

"Oh, Alice honey! I didn't mean it! Don't cry tearlessly! Please? For me?"

How could I say no to that?!

"Okay Jazzy, I'm sorry. So we have to plan tomorrows prank!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" A high-pitched scream came from Rosalie upstairs, she had just gone up to get Emmett.

"ROSALIE! IM COMING!" And I ran up the stairs and froze, in my room, all over the floor were the remains of my designer tops!

"EMMETT! YOU MONSTER! YOU WRECKED MY TOPS! THEIR RUINED!"

"Alice! The mops were after me! I didn't mean it! Anyway you tell us never to wear the same thing twice . . . so I just helped you get rid of the extras. . ."

"Its ok Emmett, I forgive you." _NO I DO NOT! HE IS SOOOO GONNA GET IT! Edward You have to help me plan this._

Edward inconspicuously nodded his head.

This means War.


	4. FINALLY the wait is over

**Mop is actually symbolising pubic hair. Emmett is scared of pubic hair. Read this story again and think of pubes whenever it says mop. That is all. MINDFUCK**


End file.
